


Pretense

by starksparker



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, Fluff, PTSD, Post-Infinity War, Sleep Deprivation, college peter parker, hearing loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-14 16:58:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16496576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starksparker/pseuds/starksparker
Summary: When an intern for the Daily Bulge is set out to find the person behind the mask of New York's Spider-Man, her life turns upside down with secrets, supervillains, and a boy by the name of Peter Parker.





	1. gummy worms

**Author's Note:**

> Peter is in college for this story and I'm warping the MCU timeline and changing a few things. This takes place about 6 months to a year AFTER Infinity War and some characters will be dead and others won't be just because story purposes. Clint Barton is canonically deaf in the comics and doesn't have a family so....I'm going that route with him rather than what the MCU did.

With the slam of a door, Peter's eyes shot open. He laid in his bed for only a second as panic started to seep through his veins. Maybe, he still had an hour to sleep. Five minutes? A few seconds? Maybe he didn't shut his alarm off....again.

He flipped over in bed, ripping his phone from his charger to see he was supposed to be up fifteen minutes ago and if he didn't get out of bed now, he's going to be late for his first class of the day.

Peter scrambled out of bed, tripping over his blankets. His arms barely caught him in time before his face smacked the ground but he didn't have the time to be able to have a sigh of relief. He just pushed himself from the floor and gathered his things. Luckily, he learned his lesson from high school. No matter how tired he is, he packs his backpack the night before for this exact reason. At least he just needs to swap clothes. He changed from pajama pants into jeans and tossed a sweater over his head. A quick look in the mirror made him grimace, hair needing a wash and faint marks of soot from the night before decorating his jawline. Messy is just his signature at this point.

As soon as Peter's shoes were on, he was running out of his dorm room and down the hallway. He dodged the few people coming and going, apologizing quickly even when he didn't bump into them. He's truly lucky he just had his chemistry class and not journalism. Chemistry is at least not across campus.

His feet pattered against the pavement and the lingering summer sun hit his sleeves. Peter's heart pounds inside his chest as he enters the building off the quad. More apologies spurred from his lips as he bumped into a few people. The classroom comes into view and to his relieved disbelief, it's still open. Barely.

The professor starts closing it just as Peter closes in. He quickly speeds up and comes into view. With heaving breaths, Peter reaches the door and barely stops it from closing. The professor shakes his head, a few loose grey hairs shake with him.

"Mr. Parker, cutting it close." The professor says, he's serious but it's said with a light-hearted tone.

"I'm sorry." Peter mutters while the door closes.

Peter doesn't spend time looking for a seat. He goes to the first open seat he spots, his cheeks tinting while a few people stare at him. A breath falls from his lips as he sits behind a girl with red hair. His heart rate starts to go back to normal as the professor takes the front of the class and gets ready for the lecture. Peter digs through his bag and pulls out a tablet with a holographic keyboard, a graduation present from Tony.

The lecture proceeds and Peter is less than attentive, his mind focusing on the night before. A massive fire ripped through a seven-floor apartment. Peter didn't even think before going inside. It was reckless, thoughtless, and stupid. He's Spider-Man, not a firefighter. Of course, he did save a few people who likely would have perished if it weren't for him but Peter's suit isn't designed to withstand temperatures that hot. The fire was out of control and too hot. It was burning everything in its path within seconds. He's lucky he didn't die or get burned. But, then again, every time Peter goes out as Spider-Man, he risks his life. 

As the class goes on, Peter starts to focus more. His fingers tap against the opaque blue with the notes he knows he'll need. He might be tired from the night before but he needs to shove it aside if he wants to pass any of his classes. If he wants to do anything in any career, he needs to keep his head on straight and focus. In the ESU classrooms, he's Peter Parker, not Spider-Man. A student, not a hero.

Before Peter knows it, the lecture is wrapped and everyone is dismissed. He grabs his belongings, putting the tablet in his bag as he gets to his feet. Peter shrugs his backpack onto his shoulders. He follows a few people out and checks his phone to see no new notifications, slight disappointment coming to him.

Everything outside seems peaceful. A few people are now scattered about the lawn either studying or chatting with a friend. Peter would like to be sitting on the lawn with friends but he hasn't had much luck, not that he's put much effort into it, in finding friends yet. Ned and MJ went to different schools so it's just him which meant he found himself walking to the library until his next class would be ready to start.

He got the library and took his usual seat, the one close to the door. He dug out his tablet and a textbook with an unopened bag of gummy worms. Gummy worms aren't an ideal breakfast but if he's being honest, he's not exactly hungry so any other food would just be a waste. Gummy worms are easy and they're better than nothing.

Only a few minutes pass before Peter feels someone sit in front of him but two seats to the right. He looks up and his met by a girl with hickory hair in an ESU sweater, a Canon Eos dangling from her neck. She looks to him and offers an apologetic smile, likely from pulling his thoughts away from studying. Peter's cheeks flush with her smile, recognizing her from his journalism class, but he looks back to his book while she pulls out an outdated laptop backpack.

While Peter worked, the girl went on turning on her laptop but it wouldn't last long. Only ten minutes later, she was rapidly pressing keys before a frustrated sigh fell from her lips. Peter heard the quiver in the sigh and could feel her frustration. So, he looked back to her and name her face is a soft shade of pink, while she just stares at the screen in disappointment.

"I-is everything...okay?" Peter asks in a hushed tone.

She looks to him and she hesitates, debating on really telling him but she recognizes him. "Uh, my laptop crashed and I kind of need it." She says with embarrassment.

"I can help? Maybe?" Peter offers. "I'm good with computers." He shrugs softly.

"You don't have to." She says gently, not one for troubling other people with needing their help.

"I don't mind." Peter sets his tablet to rest and marks the page in his textbook while the girl slides her laptop over.

"I just need my files from Lightroom and Photoshop." She explains.

Peter nods and starts typing away at the keys to try and get the laptop to turn back on properly. She doesn't have a clue what he's doing but he can't possibly make it worse so she lets him work. Plus, it doesn't hurt that in the two weeks school has been in session, she's been trying to gather the courage to talk to him. He's just always seemed in a hurry after the class ended so she hasn't bothered to try but, now that he has her laptop, maybe it's a good time  _to try_.

"You're, uh, you're in my journalism class, right? Peter?"

Peter's head shoots up, surprised she not only recognized him but knew his name. "Uh...yeah, yeah." Peter nods sheepishly. "Parker. Peter Parker."

"Lilly Campbell." Lilly introduces herself with a sweet smile as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

Peter's brows furrow as he catches a glimpse of the device he's come to see quite often. He almost says something but then opts out figuring maybe that isn't the best form of a conversation and maybe it's a little rude. Not everyone is as open as Clint is and Peter needs to remember that.

Peter's fingers work swiftly across the keyboard before a small but proud smile comes to his face. "Here, uh, y-you should probably save everything but it's, uh, it's working now." Peter slides it back to Lilly who smiles gratefully.

"You just saved my butt." Lilly lets out a with relief. "Thank you, Peter Parker."

Peter blushes again and he wants to talk to her. He should study but talking to her sounds like more fun right now especially with them sharing a class. Peter's busy between classes and Spider-Man but he could use a friend so he might as well try now.

"Gummy worms?" Peter slides the bag towards her.

"Thanks." She grabs a few before sliding the bag back to him.

"Uh, so, what's your major?" Peter asks and Lilly giggles softly, her finding him adorable.

"Photography, you?" Lilly asks, her constantly glancing between him and her laptop.

"Chemistry." Peter says.

Lilly pauses for a second, finding the major a bit odd. "Why take a journalism class?"

"Oh, I-I mean, I want to make documentaries." Peter rushes his words out, nervousness flooding over him. "So, I'm minoring in film."

"That's really cool." Her voice is soft and sweet like cotton candy and she really thinks it's cool he's taking on chemistry and film. They aren't exactly similar topics.

"Thanks." Peter tugs at the sleeves of his sweater. "A-are you from...here?"

"Queens." Lilly says. "You?"

"Queens." Peter beams, happy he found someone else from the same area.

"Yeah? What school?" Lilly asks, excitement in her voice.

"Midtown Science and Tech." Peter rambles the name off with enthusiasm, almost bouncing in his seat.

The school catches her off guard. Midtown is a really good school for those who want a career in anything that's science or technology heavy. It's kind of a jumpstart, better than just what other public schools have to offer. It's impressive and in order to go to Midtown, people have to be incredibly intelligent.

"You went to a science and tech school?" Lilly asks, making sure she did actually  _hear_ him correctly.

Peter nods shyly. "I-yeah, I like science and....tech." Peter's eyes move side to side, slightly narrowed with shyness.

"I think that's awesome."

Before Peter can reply, Peter hears a scream in the distance. It's outside but he heard it clear as day. The hairs on his arm started to stand and his heart picked up in his chest. Peter immediately started packing up his things, making Lilly confused but her attention was pulled away from him before she could ask. She got a text from JJ to head to the Brooklyn Bridge. She was now on the clock.

"I-I'm sorry, I gotta go." Peter rushes his words but Lilly is quick to shakes her head, packing up her things just as fast.

"No, it's okay, I have to go, too."

A very short feeling of relief comes to Peter, happy he wasn't letting her down which is a bit odd given they just had one conversation but a conversation he didn't want to end. "I'll see you? In class?" Peter makes it a question, hoping she'd want to pick up the conversation the next time they saw each other.

"Yeah, in class." Lilly responds and Peter smiles wide.

"Okay, cool, awesome." Peter shrugs his bag. "Bye." He says so fast, Lilly barely caught it and in seconds, Peter was running for the exit.

Lilly wasn't far behind though. With any form of accident, Spider-Man is sure to be around and she was now on the hunt for him.


	2. consistency

Lilly's feet pattered against the pavement. Her heart thundered in her chest, constricting and burning with every step as she ran toward the disaster that was currently the Brooklyn Bridge. Most people, they avoid dangerous situations. They stop and stare, watch whatever disaster is unfolding because it's human nature. It's unbelievable and people need to watch to believe it's happening. But, most people don't go into the danger zone if they're not already there. Most people don't have a death wish. Lilly doesn't have a death wish but she has a dream and that dream includes her running around New York and chasing the masked hero by the name of Spider-Man.

A crowd is gathered as she approaches and it's a lot. The mixed voices and sirens, distant yelling and noises all fading into one sound. It's all being amplified and Lilly has to slow her running to refocus, gather herself and shake it off. Deep breaths and focus.

Crowds are a hassle sometimes. Lilly can only hear out of one ear but even her hearing is still only at eighty percent with that ear so she relies on hearing aids to help her. But, with the help of them, the sudden change in volume can trigger a strange anxiety sensation. Sensory overload. It used to cause full-blown panic attacks but now, she can breathe and refocus and it's fine. It just takes a minute or two and if it weren't for her wanting to make sure she stays safe and doesn't miss anything, she'd just take off her hearing aids and call it a day. However, she does want to make sure she's safe and attentive to her surroundings. So, she breathes.

Lilly breathes and she can grab her camera from around her neck, ready to go. She reaches the barricades where police are making sure people stay put. And that's when she really sees the bridge. It looks like something's split it nearly in half and it's only being held together by webs. There are cars still slowly falling into the water but people are running from the bridge, others are being held up by different webs. It seems Spider-Man has been there for a little while already, webbing people up and keeping them safe. It reminds her of the Staten Island ferry just three years prior.

She was just a Sophomore when it had happened but she remembers seeing it all over the news. Something strange had torn through the ferry, splitting it in two. Spider-Man had tried to pull the ferry back together and keep it together with webbing but it didn't work so well and Iron Man saved the day. No one was hurt, luckily but it was something that stayed with Lilly. Her little sister and mom were on the ferry and they could have died but they didn't because Spider-Man and Iron Man showed up. Now she's here, watching a bridge being held together by Spider-Man. The universe is funny that way.

Lilly holds her camera to her eye and that's when she sees him. The red and blue suited superhero swings around the bridge saving a little kid before he falls into the water. Her job isn't to catch Spider-Man catching children and saving them from certain death but she doesn't care. She takes the pictures anyway because how cool is that? It's Spider-Man saving a kid. So, Lilly keeps her camera on him the entire time, taking pictures and waiting for him to finish.

There's just a fascination with watching him swing around at speeds that cannot be human. Well, obviously. But, how? That's something that's ate at Lilly since Spider-Man started showing up. What makes him a superhero? How does he stick to buildings? What are his webs exactly? How does he land perfectly fine despite the velocity of his swings? Humans have a closed circulatory system so he shouldn't be able to just survive swinging like that. But, he does, just like a spider. So, something's mutated but how? Why? She has a hundred questions and none of them have been answered and by the looks of it, she'll never get an answer. Instead, she'll just be taking pictures and hoping she gets the shot she needs.

But, Lilly's attention is pulled away from the web-slinging superhero when a shiny red suit with gold accents comes into view. She pulls her camera from her eye and sees the one and only Iron Man flying in to help Spider-Man just as he did before. This time though, it seems different from what she saw on TV. They're working together to pull the bridge together rather than just Iron Man. Spider-Man is webbing the bridge up and together while Iron Man is using his blasters to seal the bridge. It's a sight and Lilly immediately starts taking pictures again. It's not her job to photograph Iron Man but hell, she's not gonna miss this.

Lilly's heart swells and a smile completely splits her face as she loses herself in photographing the superheroes. But, that feeling and smile soon fade as Spider-Man takes off. When Spider-Man leaves, Lilly follows. She rolls her eyes and makes her way out of the crowd muttering quick 'sorry's' and 'excuse me's'. It's hard to keep up with someone who's fast. Someone who doesn't want people to know who they really are.

Lilly keeps her eyes on Spider-Man, trying not to run into anyone. It's a bit ridiculous, really. She has to keep up with him on foot. He's out there swinging from buildings above street traffic and foot traffic while she has to make sure she doesn't get hit by a car or bump into anyone and then she still has to manage to keep her camera safe and ready to snap a photo if the opportunity arises. JJ is out of his mind with this assignment but Lilly has too much respect to actually tell him that. So, she keeps her mouth shut and she does as she's told, eyes to the sky watching the blue and red swing by.

She watches him swing by until he's gone, out of view and that's it. He's gone. Again. Months of chasing him and he's always gone. She can't keep up no matter how hard she tries. If she ever wants to get the shot JJ wants, she'll need a miracle and some damn good luck. Spider-Man is just a very consistent hero who always shows up to help and disappears without a trace afterward. It's a bit crazy, really. And frustrating.

Lilly's head hangs as she sighs. Her hand grips her camera, looking at it before she looks back to the sky. She rolls her neck, cartilage cracking with every movement. Her shoulders roll and there's no sign of that hero so what's left to do? Nothing. She runs a hand through her hair, shaking the loose strands before she turns and starts for the bus station. There's no point in sticking around. Spider-Man has done his job and he won't appear until later, no telling where exactly so she heads back to campus. Lilly is still a college student who needs to pass her classes.

\-----

The scent of coffee hits Peter like a bus as he walks into his favorite coffee shop right off campus. It's one of the few that's open past ten and they make the best coffee, if anyone were to ask Peter anyway. Plus, their coffee can actually keep Peter awake, unlike most places. But, his normal routine of getting his coffee and sitting down to try and study or finish up an essay would be interrupted.

The shop is almost empty but then there's the pretty girl with hickory colored hair tied back in a loose ponytail. She has an elbow on the table, chin on her hand as she stares at the screen in front of her. Her eyes are drooping and she looks about as exhausted and drained as Peter does. There's something about the difference in her appearance compared to earlier that seems to tug at PEter's heartstrings but maybe that's because he knows what it's like to be alone in a coffee shop at ten at night staring at a screen and wanting to sleep.

Peter walks to up to the counter and orders his usual coffee, caramel macchiato with four extra shots of espresso. The baristas always give him a bit of a strange look, wondering how he can even taste the caramel but also if he ever sleeps. Then again, what college student does sleep like a normal human being?

The barista hands Peter his coffee and he says a quick thanks before turning around and questioning where he's going to sit. He could sit by Lilly. She looks tired and he sure as hell is, too so maybe they could keep each other awake. But, maybe she wants to be left alone and Peter doesn't want to disturb her. The last thing he wants is to make anyone uncomfortable. But, she also seemed really nice and from the few classes he's had with her so far, she's always been really pleasant to anyone that talks to her. So, why not?

"H-hey." Peter greets once he approaches Lilly's table, both hands holding his cup of coffee.

Lilly looks up to him but her brows are furrowed and her eyes scan his face as if questioning what he was doing beside her. She knew she heard someone say something but it sounded distant and clogged, similar to if someone is trying to have a conversation underwater. Not really coherent or loud, just distant and groggy.

"Sorry, what?" Her voice is louder than Peter expected and it's a little scratchy.

"Uh..I, I just said hey." Peter gives her a sheepish smile.

"Oh! Hey." Lilly gives him a sweet with the louder than conversational level tone.

Peter's heart lifts a little with her seemingly happy change but she still looks completely exhausted so he feels the need to ask, "Are you okay?"

Lilly holds up a finger and pulls up her backpack from the floor. She digs through it, pulling out a chip-clipped bag of gummy worms, a notebook, and finally a small container. She seems happy when she finds the container and when she opens it, small behind the ear hearing aids are revealed and Peter gets it. Lilly turns them on and puts them on before looking back to him.

"Sorry," Her cheeks show a vibrate shade of red. "Sometimes, I take them out, ya know? When I'm studying or getting work done. Being able to drown out some noise helps my focus." She rambles and bites her lip as she finishes. "So, yeah, I'm okay...internship, ya know?"

Lilly takes in Peter's appearance, messy hair as usual but there's a little faint bruise she hadn't noticed earlier, right on his jawbone. There are bags under his eyes and his clothes aren't completely straight. The collared shirt under the grey sweater is crooked and only part of one end of the bottom of the shirt sticks out under the sweater. His bag is slugged over just one shoulder and he's holding onto his coffee like it's his lifeline to keep him awake. Even his skin is a strange pale color, a little paler than Lilly thinks is normal.

"Are you?" She asks.

Peter nods and he holds the sheepish smile. "Internship." There's a soft laugh they share and a warmth spreads throughout Peter's chest. "Can...I sit?" Peter asks, gesturing to the open chair in front of her.

"Sure," Lilly closes her laptop and moves a few things out of the way. "What's your internship?" Lilly asks as Peter takes a seat. "I...I just mean if it keeps you up at a coffee shop at ten at night, it must be a hard one." Lilly rambles, not wanting to intrude on Peter's business if he doesn't want to share his work.

"Oh...uh, yeah." Peter stutters. "I, um, I have an internship with Tony Stark." Peter sucks in a breath before taking a drink of his coffee.

It's been years and Peter still finds it a bit weird to mention it but he doesn't like lying either. So, he just always says it's an internship with Tony and he learns about the engineering side of Stark Industries. It's a good cover.

"Really?" Lilly's eyes widen as she leans forward. "Wait. So you know....like, Iron Man?"

Peter nods. "Yeah."

"So...do you know the other Avengers?" Lilly asks with so much excitement it brings a genuine smile to Peter's face. "I mean, do you know Hawkeye? Clint Barton?"

"Well, uh," Peter shrugs and he tries to find words between stutters but Lilly doesn't seem to mind. "I, uh, I mean...I...yeah, I've...met him. A few times." Peter swallows thickly, taking another drink of his coffee.

"That's so cool!" Lilly nearly squeals. "Is he cool? What's he like? I mean, if you can tell me....or if you want to. It's okay if you don't want to. I'm sure you get asked all the time about the Avengers so maybe you don't wanna talk about it which is totally fine. This is fine. It's okay, nevermind. I'm rambling. I'm sorry." Lilly immediately becomes taken over with embarrassment. She's always looked up to Clint Barton so finding out she knows someone who has met him, in person, a few times, it's so surreal. She couldn't help it. "Sorry, uh, it's just...ya know? He's a superhero who's deaf and he's so cool."

Peter remembers the first time he met Tony, the Stark Expo. Well, he didn't really  _meet_  Tony but Tony saved him and told him "nice work, kid" so, it kind of counts. He was little then but he remembers never shutting up about it. May has a video of Peter relaying the whole story to Ben and how his face lit up the entire time. That's what Lilly looks like. Same excitement and she hasn't even met Clint. It's just talking about him.

"Yeah, yeah, no I get it." Peter says in a rush. "He's really cool." Peter beams. "He drinks a lot of coffee though." There's a chuckle that escapes his lips and Lilly is completely captivated.

"Mood." Lilly states, laughing softly and taking a sip of her own coffee.

"So, uh, what's your internship?" Peter asks.

"I intern at the Daily Bulge under J. Jonah Jameson." Lilly says softly.

Peter's heart drops with the name of both the newspaper and the reporter. JJ has been out to unmask Spider-Man for two years now. He's always publishing stories about how Spider-Man is what's wrong with Queens, all of New York even. He's a vigilante who does more harm than good. The takedown of bad guys and villains should be done by those equipped, like US forces and police, not some scrawny kid in a blue and red spandex suit. But, Peter, in this coffee shop with Lilly, is Peter Parker. He's not Spider-Man here, so he doesn't say a word about it.

"What's it like? I mean," Peter starts. "What do you do? D-do you enjoy it?"

A sad smile comes over Lilly's face. "I mean, yeah." She says but there's more to it. "Usually, he's a good reporter. I have a lot to learn from him and he has connections, ya know? But," Lilly chews on her bottom lip. "Sometimes, it kind of sucks."

"Why does it suck?" Peter asks and he feels bad. No one should feel like their work or internship sucks. It should be something they enjoy.

"I'm always running around and I never get enough sleep because of it. I fell behind in a few classes when I started interning. I gave up a lot friends just intern under him and....yeah." Lilly says quietly and Peter understands.

He almost lost his friends because of his "internship". It's not exactly easy sometimes but he has extenuating circumstances so what's JJ got her doing that's making her lose friends?

"I-if you don't wanna talk about it...it's okay...but what's he always have you doing? To not sleep and lose friends, all that?"

Lilly sighs and takes a small sip of her coffee. "He just has me run around a lot."

With Peter having an internship with Tony Stark and knowing, or at least, have met some of the Avengers, she doesn't want to go on a spiel about how draining it is to be chasing Spider-Man, a superhero who works with Tony Stark. Iron Man. Lilly feels like maybe it'll cross a boundary and she likes Peter's company. He's cute, a bit awkward, but good company. Peter is someone she'd actually really like to stick around, if he wants.

Peter nods with understanding. "I get it."

Lilly's phone goes off, a vibrating alarm on top of the table and she gives Peter a sad smile. "Sorry, but I have to go." Lilly shuts the alarm off and starts to gather her things. "If I don't get back to my dorm, my roommate is going to kill me for walking in and waking her up."

Peter stands up. "Oh, yeah, okay. I-I can walk you, if you want?" Peter offers with the same sheepish smile.

"It's okay. But, thank you." Lilly puts her things in her bag and shrugs her bag over her shoulder.

Peter's heart sinks a little when she declined his offer but he's not going to force her. But, he's also not gonna let her walk alone...not as Peter.

"But, uh," Lilly's cheeks turn red as she scratches the side of her head. "I'll be here tomorrow at the same time...if you happen, to, ya know, be in the same area?"

Peter's hope immediately jumps up and his eyes brighten. "Yeah, yeah, I'll totally be here."

"Cool," Lilly lets out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "I'll see you in class and then..here. Bye, Peter Parker." Lilly bites her bottom lip as she grabs her coffee and heads for the door.


End file.
